First off I wanted to share this very special blog post from a sweet 14 year old girl in my college english class. Second I wanted to give you an update on what the plan of action is now that I am at Johns Hopkins Medicine.
I have been preparing my mind, body, spirit, soul, and even my dog for lung transplant surgery. I have spent years getting ready for this only to be told for 13 years straight at every single appointment “your not sick enough”.
Today I got the best news I could have ever asked for! I spoke with my transplant doctor and one of the fellows. The are most concerned about finding out what this nasty virus or whatever i caught is and fixing that. WHILE I AM here they have agreed to start the proceedings and testing to move me forward towards pursuing my actual double lung transplant! Its not going to happen immediately but the ball is officially rolling and we are moving forward.
I am the strongest physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally that i have ever been in my 48 years of life and I am ready for this! Im excited and optimistic and just beside myself that FINALLY there is a light at the end of the tunnel and to be able to actually BREATHE again is now in view. The average lifespan after transplant is 5 years. I am fully aware, prepared, and ready and even if i only get 5 months, 5 days, or 5 hours with my new lungs Im totally fine with that. In my world though- Im not concerned with “average life expectancy”, statistics, or odds. Ive been beating the odds, since the day my premature little body jumped out of my biological mothers womb on the 5th of July weighing 2lbs- That’s what we call
If you can see it you can achieve it….
Last night I rolled in here at 11pm. Alone, in a strange place, in a small curtained room with only a bed and equipment and i was wired and wide awake. It was completely quiet and the only sounds around me were from an IV machine and my EKG. While i was laying there i heard 2 voices. Big Ken and AJ. They were CLEARLY chit chatting and laughing and standing on either side of my bed. The moment i acknowledged the presence they stopped talking, looked at me, and i felt a strong hand on each of my shoulders. And just like that i felt peace and they were gone. Im not on any medication, i dont hallucinate and there is no explanation for what i experienced. I only know a calm, confidence of strength filled my barely breathing body and that was that. Oh, and i heard LOUD SNORING! AJ AND KEN!
I have never in my life had such a strong out pouring of encouragement, support and strength ranging from people who have known me my whole life to those of you on the boards whom ive just met 2 weeks ago. However, and whatever this all came about know that I am grateful, blessed, and incredibly fortunate to have all of you in my corner. Thank you!