Kiss me Im Sober. Or am I? Live from my micro-loft at Johns Hopkins, checking in. As I sit here waiting for the next poke, prod, test, or scan I find myself wondering about “luck”… How lucky am I to be at one of the top hospitals in the nation for lung transplant surgery, being treated and tested by a team of Doctors especially hand picked- just for me? As my friends spend the day drinking green beer and celebrating being Irish- my day is consumed by trying to figure out how to fit in meals, a shower, and homework into the myriad of craziness that my life has become. I got to learn about the heart cath i will have at 8am tomorrow morning and was informed that a tube will be shoved in the artery of my leg and fished up into my heart and then another one will be inserted into the artery in my wrist and fished into the other side of my heart to look for blockages and scope out the territory. Alli can think of is- I wish i did more cardio back when i could breathe lol. I miss the hustle and bustle of rushing to class and dog training classes, McDonalds drive-thru, Jeopardy at 7:30pm, and my DVR. Im trying to stay focused and keep my eye on my immediate short term goal of getting better, getting out of here, and getting on the transplant list but today is a hard day. I feel left out, left behind, and out out of touch. ALL of which is completely out of my control. But is it really? NO! I am in control, I have a BLOG, and i have ALL of YOU. I have control over how I choose to view my circumstances. I have control over my decision to be powerful instead of pitiful. I have control over the things that I don’t allow to control ME- which is EVERYTHING!
I need an eyebrow wax, some polish on my toes and a haircut…… what i REALLY need is a breath of fresh air. A really DEEP breath of any kind of air. I found a netflix documentary called Ted Talks: Life Hack. I urge you all to take 20 min and watch this video. It will change your life.
Until next time- Thank you all for loving me, supporting me, and strengthening me. Your prayers and well wishes are being felt every minute of each day and I am BLESSED to be able to sit here from my micro-loft in the city and have all of you with me through this journey.