Why?

Just why?  Have you ever met a child who seemed so much beyond their actual age? My friend has a son who is 4 years old and everything from the way he speaks to the way he acts is like he has been around this block before.  No baby talk, he is literally like a 4 year old man.  Then there’s people like me. I talked baby talk for as long as i could get away with.  I wanted to be grown so my parents would quit micromanaging and controlling every single aspect of my life and i could be AWAY from them. Yet, when i was considered a grown up I was afraid. Afraid of EVERYTHING as if I wasn’t fully prepared for all that life offered.

I left that relationship and went off to sow my wild oats and when i was 30 i decided it was time to come back and  be a part of my family.  I am 48 years old, and Im questioning WHY.  Why did i invest so much time and energy into a relationship that never happened? Why do i do that in my personal relationships as well?  Im NOT a quitter and I believe in “hope”. Hope that eventually SOMETHING will change.

“Something always changes, sometimes for the better, sometimes not”

Why do i put forth 100% full on effort and passion into EVERYTHING I put my mind to and feel as if i end up with the short end of the stick? Why has my life turned from one of complete optimism, joy, and hope to sick and losing everything no matter HOW much energy i invest?  Beast-Mode is me tackling life and everything that comes along with it full on.  It is also me acting like a white rhino- trampling in a stampede of fear, destroying everything in my path!  Trust me when I say,it’s NOT because my eyes dont see well like the rhinos!

I miss my family, my health,having fun,AJ,and most of all miss living.  to be con’t…

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Lysa Dilley

Exploring Lungs For Lysa. What it was like, what happened, and what its like now.... Hang on cause its a wild ride!

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